The Kitchen Formula Calculator v3

The Story of The Trailer Park Terrine

Alluding to it’s humble character, and sans any particular disdain for trailer parks, which by and large are inhabited by humans (such as my number 1 son) with aspirations, values, and decency like all neighborhoods hope to contain, the Trailer Park Terrine was born of it’s creator’s parsimony. Pure and simple, the scrupulous usage of what he owns. A natural propensity, aided along by some years of studying culinary arts under Hungarian, and Swiss chefs. 

A pronounced, and progressed post-radiation fibrosis has left The Unabaker’s swallowing apparatus remarkably less capable of doing what it’s supposed to do. That, and a batch of frankfurters which turned out to be quite dense and chewy; resisting to going down the normal way of eating a frank. Having invested in the expensive dogs, the question became, "so, now what to do?".

I supposed that making a meatloaf from them might be a way to tenderize the product and use it up. Or I could have just chopped them up and set it out for the water monitors to gobble. However, the grounds are rife with toads, and lizards and stray cats enough for those bad boys, so The Unabaker opted for a bit of kitchen experimentation. As usual, the experiment led to some interesting results, which might be said of which “not half bad”. Not extraordinary as “terrines” go, but edible for me, and fairly tasty. I ate it with scallion mashed potatoes, fried onions, and a simple mustard tinged gravy. Along with a local beer it was very ball park-esque. 

A number of people actually requested the formula after hearing the above story. The name of this preparation is more testament to the shortcomings of being The Unabaker, plus some fond memories of a trailer park girl I once knew. In any case, it involved how to make a forcemeat, which as anyone who has worked a kitchen knows, relies upon the use of freshly ground, uncooked meats, but in my case, using an already cooked meat product. The simple fix was to add one egg more than normal to the mix, some panada as usual, and a touch of Xanthan gum.

Writing recipes well is work. People usually pay me to do it, and expect the results to be noteworthy. The following is just a "for instance", not an earner. Still, something as simple as a recipe for meatloaf requires a bit of precision because the goal is to write a formula and methodology clearly enough so that ten different people on your staff can cook it roughly the exact same way, and with a 95% range of accuracy, one to the next. So, it takes lots of time just to write a formula that makes sense, then to test it, tweak the formula, and test again before committing to serve it to paying folks. Since I’ve done this for so long, and I’m a very methodical boy, I can do that predictably. Therefore, if some cook, being assigned the task to make a product using my recipe produces crap, then claims they followed the recipe, you can know they did not. Any recipe is just a guide. Understanding and mastering la technique, and le methode is all about practice, and experience. It’s usually a lack of such skill development that caused the cook to produce something different from another more experienced cook who successfully does it using the very same recipe. 

Of course, a recipe is nothing if it’s not been tested, and any subsequent tweaks to ingredient quantities, mixing methodology, or finish cooking times and temps haven’t been verified, and the formula updated accordingly. This is called a “cook test”. So, you may expect the following formula to result in something right on. 

In this instance, I cannot say it will with certainty. Sure, I made this meatloaf, and winged it based on my understanding of making forcemeat, and it turned out ok, but I’m after-the-fact writing a formula for it; remembering what I did. I’m guessing about ingredient quantities. I’d have to actually go back to the kitchen, follow my after the fact recipe, and test it, then make any changes to ingredients, quantities, mixing, and/or cooking times and temps. But, I’ve already got meatloaf, cannot eat more, so I’m passing along this formula for you to test. Let me know your result please! It's good enough for government work, I'll claim that much, and mine was edible and not half bad as noted. Whatever you turn out will likely not harm you, or your friends. You might also note any changes to ingredient quantities based on your own pre-baking taste test which I describe below how to do. Keep a record of those tweaks in case you ever want to do this again. To do that in an organized fashion, refer to my several posts about using The Kitchen Formula Calculator v4.

Anyway, please read through the recipe, then reread it! Get a feel for what is involved, and organize what tools you will need. Then, prep and assemble all ingredients in the stated quantities before beginning. You can use little ramekins, or something like it to hold the different ingredients. Getting all the stuff chopped, assembled, and in organized fashion is called “mise en place”. It just means everything is in place, and ready to go. Be methodical. Don’t clutter your workspace. As you use a tool, or a pan, or a dish, move it out of your way. "Clean as you go" is always a good idea. Don’t rush! These are the basic rules of the road for any sort of workshop. The kitchen is a workshop. If you don’t have the right tools, you’ll struggle to produce product.

The Unabaker’s Trailer Park Terrine

Ingredients
350 to 400 grams ordinary hot dogs
2 slices white sandwich bread
85 grams milk, or cream if you like

140 grams whole eggs

50 grams ketchup
15 grams yellow or dijon mustard
16 grams corn starch

1 gram (1/3 tsp) xanthan gum, optional but helpful
7 grams paprika
12 grams kosher salt
2.8 grams (1tsp) ground black pepper

2.5 grams (1/2 tsp) caraway seeds
.3 grams (1/8 tsp) ground nutmeg
.4 grams dried thyme (1/4tsp), or 8 grams (1 tsp) fresh

.8 grams (1/4 tsp) chili flakes

70 grams onions, chopped about 1/4”

45 grams carrots, chopped about 1/4”

10 grams (2 Tbsp) chopped parsley

Method
-chop the dogs in a food processor, a grinder (or whatever you have like such) until they’re reduced to almost a paste. Add an egg if necessary to help it along. When finished, place the stuff in a metal mixing bowl, and put in the fridge for 30 minutes, or freezer for 10.
-chop up the bread, and soak it with the milk until it’s mush. This preparation is called a Panada. It’s basically a filler, and texture lightening agent. It makes a difference, don’t opt to not make it.
-Add the eggs to the panada (if not used to make the hot dog paste).
-mix the cornstarch together with the xanthan gum, then add it, and all remaining ingredients to the bread mush, after which, mix it together with the chilled hot dog paste. 

Note: be careful using the xanthan gum because it’s has a powerful thickening effect. Measure it carefully, don’t add more than called for.

Tasting for Seasoning

It is a good idea at this point to check the level of seasonings before baking the loaf. Take a small piece of the mix, and shape it into a little 5cm diameter (2") patty. Cook it on both sides in a pan heated over medium setting, until done. Taste it! Does it taste ok? Does it need salt or pepper, or more of one of the other ingredients? Use your taste buds. “Goodness is a decision for the mouth to make”. Add more salt, pepper or whatever else you think necessary to make it taste good. Don’t go overboard. Once it’s in the mix, it can’t come back out. If unsure after adjusting the seasonings, then repeat the sample cooking test.

Finish the loaf
If you want to be semi professional, then weigh the total meatloaf mix. It should be about 2#. Find an appropriate sized loaf pan, and fill it with an equivalent weight of water. Ideally it should be a small enough pan so that the weighed water quantity fills the thing almost to the top. Remember that the geometric configuration of the loaf (or anything being baked) affects total baking time. A rectangular loaf that’s 2” thick cooks up quicker than one that’s 3” thick. Duh! So keep it in mind regarding advised baking times below!

If you want to make it a bit nicer then do as follows
-line the pan using bacon slices, or thinly sliced fatback.
-drape the slices so they cover the bottom, and up both sides of the pan.                          -let any extra length of bacon drape over the edges of the pan. One slice ought to be enough to do this, but it depends on bacon used.

-continue to add more slices until the pan is covered end to end.
-fill the pan with your meatloaf mix, and even it out.
-rap the pan onto a counter top a few times to settle the mixture, no voids.
-if your bacon slices hang over the top edges of the pan (they usually do), then fold these back over the top surface of the loaf.
-if the forcemeat isn’t completely encased by the bacon slices, then place another slice or two bacon lengthwise along the middle to cover the gap.
-smear some ketchup, or bbq sauce, or even some mustard all over the top. Don’t drown it, but don’t be parsimonious either. The oven heat will dry it out during baking.
-put your pan in the fridge for at least 1 hour (note: you can actually prep the loaf one day, refrigerate it overnight, and bake it the next day, or within the next few days. It’s all ok.)
-when you decide to bake it, pre heat your oven to 180ºC (350°F).
-cover the top of the pan with aluminum foil, and stick it in the oven.
-bake for 45 minutes.
-remove the foil, and bake 15-20 more until the top looks good, which means it is now a nicely caramelized brown.
-you can test it for doneness using an instant read thermometer if you like, and it’s done when the middle is 160°. Or just trust me. It will be. 

You can serve it warm, but I recommend letting it rest for 20 minutes after removed from the oven. It’s all together easier, however, if you let it cool thoroughly, then stick it in the fridge for few hours to solidify. So, it’s a good thing to make earlier in the day of, or a day ahead of consumption. When it’s cooled, simply warm up the mold in the oven for a few minutes, then invert it onto a cutting board or platter. It should slide right out if warmed sufficiently. Not too long, just sufficiently to loosen the gelatinized juices holding it in the mold. Invert the loaf again so the top side is up. Slicing is always easier if it’s not hot right out of the oven, and can be heated up after slices are made. Otherwise, you can slice it in the pan right out of the oven after giving the thing a 10 minute rest. Digging slices out of the mold may cause the first one to get raggedy, but gets easier after that.

Some Final Notes
You can’t really over-bake the thing because the meat used has already been cooked before you ground it up. All you’re really doing is cooking it long enough to gelatinize the panada, and the eggs in the forcemeat mixture. That stuff actually cooks up in about 40 minutes, but you’re also wanting to develop some caramelization of the outside of the loaf, and if you bothered to line the pan with bacon or fatback, then you want to fully cook that stuff. One hour is plenty of time.

Remember that cooking is a “process phenomena”, and among other process-affecting elements are material density (meaning the forcemeat density), the thermal conductivity of the material, heat and moisture transport within the structure, and the basic control elements are always a balance of time and temperature. You could, for example, increase the oven temp to 190ºC (375°), and decrease total baking time. If your particular mix is more moist than mine was, then you’ll need more time to finish bake the thing. Also, if you select a pan that makes the depth of the filling somewhat deeper than 8cm (about 3”), it takes longer to bake because of the geometric configuration.

Baking is science. Trailer Park Terrine is an experiment.