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Sometimes a diversion is called for, and since Monsignor Kerry (aka the cousin) asked for the hot dog meat loaf recipe... Ok, so here goes.


Writing recipes well is work. People usually pay me to do it, and expect the results to be noteworthy. The following is just a for instance. Something as simple as meatloaf still requires some precision because the goal is to write a formula and methodology clearly enough so that ten different people on your staff (or among your acolytes) can be able to cook it roughly the exact same way, and with a 95% range of accuracy, one to the next. It takes lots of time to write a formula that makes sense, and since I’ve done this for so long, and I’m a very methodical boy, I can do that predictably. If some cook, being assigned the task to make a product using my recipe produces crap, then claims they followed the recipe, you can know they did not. Any recipe is just a guide. Understanding and mastering technique, and methodology required to fabricate the item is all about practice, and experience. It’s usually a lack of such skill development that caused the cook to produce something different from another more experienced cook who successfully did it using the very same recipe. 


Of course, a recipe is nothing if it’s not been tested, and any tweaks to ingredient quantities, mixing methodology, or finish cooking times and temps have been verified, and updated as needed. This is called a “cook test”. So, you may expect from The Unbaker that the following formula will result in something right on. But I cannot say it will. Sure, I made this meatloaf, but I’m after the fact writing a formula, straining to recall what I did. I’m guessing about ingredient quantities. This is not so unusual, but when a Chef does this in his office after whipping up something good, Chef has to actually go back to the kitchen, folllow the recipe written, and test it. That is what I would do if I’m putting this on a menu. That’s not happening, and since I’ve already got meatloaf, I'm not emotionally committed to making more of it. Thus, I’m passing along this formula for YOU to test. Let me know your result please! You might also want make any changes to ingredient quantities called for below based on your own pre-baking taste test which I promise to describe how to do. Keep a record of your changes in case you ever want to do this again. 


Anyway, read the recipe, then reread it! Then, assemble all ingredients in the stated quantities before beginning. You can use little ramekins, or something like it to hold the different ingredients. Getting all the stuff chopped, and assembled, and in organized fashion is called “mise en place”. It just means everything is in place, and ready to go. Be methodical. Don’t clutter your workspace. As you use a tool or a pan or a dish, then move it out of your way. Clean as you go is always a good idea. Don’t rush! These are the basic rules of any workshop. The kitchen is a workshop. If you don’t have the right tools, you’ll struggle to produce product. 


Since I am writing this for non-professional Americans, I am not going to fuss around with metric weights for ingredient measures. Despite my adamance otherwise, compassion sometimes bubbles up.


The Unabaker’s Trailer Park Terrine


Ingredients


About 3/4” - 1# of cheap hot dogs

2 slices white bread

3 oz milk

2 X-Large eggs (or 3 smaller ones. You want  to weigh about 5oz)

3 tbsp ketchup

1 tbsp yellow or Dijon mustard

2 tbsp corn starch

1 tbsp paprika

2 tsp salt

1 tsp ground blk pepper

1/2 tsp caraway seeds

1/8 tsp ground nutmeg

1/4 tsp dried thyme (or 1tsp fresh)

1/4 tsp chili flakes (optional, but advised)

1/2 cup chopped onions, 1/4” or smaller size

1/3 cup chopped carrots, 1/4” or smaller size

2 tbsp chopped parsley


Method

-chop the dogs in a food processor, a grinder, or whatever you have like such until they’re reduced to almost a paste. Add the eggs if necessary to help it along. When finished, place the stuff in a metal mixing bowl, and put in the fridge. 

-chop up the bread, and soak it with the milk until it’s mush. This preparation is called a Panada. It’s basically a filler, and texture lightening agent. It makes a difference, don’t opt to not make it.

-add the eggs to the panada (if they have not been used to make the hot dog paste). 

-add all remaining ingredients to the bread mush. Then mix it together with the chilled hot dog mixture. Since you want a fairly homogeneous texture when sliced, you will desire to mix it fairly well. Doing this aids the development of myosin, and that means the stuff will not be crumbly like a burger texture, but smoother like a bologna, though less smooth than that. It is a fine idea to do the mixing the day ahead, and refrigerate it to allow the flavors to marry well. You can complete the assembly of the loaf and just put the filled baking pan in the fridge. It is ok to do this several days in advance too. Whatever works for your busy agenda.


Before Cooking, a Taste Test

A good idea at this point is to check the level of seasonings before filling the pan, or baking the loaf. Take a small piece of the mix, and shape it into a little half dollar sized patty. Cook it in a medium heated pan on both sides, just like cooking a sausage patty, until it’s just done. Don't overcook the test patty, or you'll dry it out and not know wtf. After successfully not cooking it to death, taste it! Does it taste ok? Need salt, or pepper, or more of one of the other ingredients? Use your taste buds to analyze it. “Goodness is a decision for the mouth to make”. Add more salt, pepper, or whatever else you think necessary to make it taste good. Don’t go overboard. Once it’s in the mix, it can’t come back out. If unsure after adjusting the seasonings, then repeat the sample cooking test, and adjust seasonings after the second cook test.


Finish the Loaf

If you want to be semi professional, then weigh the total meatloaf mix. It should be about 2#. Find an appropriate sized loaf pan, and fill it with an equivalent weight of water. Ideally it should be a small enough pan so that the water fills the thing almost to the top. Remember that the geometric configuration of the loaf (or anything being baked) affects total baking time. A rectangular loaf that’s 2” thick cooks up quicker than one that’s 3” thick. Duh! So keep it in mind regarding advised baking times below! It is better to find a smaller pan that fills completely.


If you want to make it nicer then do as follows

-line the pan using bacon slices or thinly sliced fatback.

-drape the slices so they cover the bottom, and up both sides of the pan. Let any extra length of bacon drape over the edges of the pan. One slice ought to be enough to do this, but I can't guarantee that. I used a small loaf pan because I was not willing to commit to making a big ass hot dog meatloaf, and the only reason I came up with this recipe is, due to being parsimonious, and to my progressive swallowing dysfunction, I could not eat the dogs. They were too dense and chewy...unlike typical American ball park franks. So I wondered how not to throw them away. Thus the Trailer Park Terrine was born! 

-add as many more slices as needed so that the pan is covered end to end. 

-fill the pan with your meatloaf mix, and even it out. 

-rap the pan onto a counter top a few times to settle the mixture, no voids. 

-if your bacon slices hang over the top edges of the pan (they might, mine did), then fold these back over the top.

-if the top side of the filling isn’t completely encased you can place a couple slices more bacon lengthwise along the mid length of the pan. 

-smear some ketchup, or bbq sauce, or even some mustard all over the top. Don’t drown it, but don’t be parsimonious either. The oven heat will dry it out during baking. 

-put your pan in the fridge for 1/2 hour (note: you can actually prep the loaf one day, refrigerate it overnight, and bake it the next day, or within the next few days. It’s all ok.)

-when you decide to bake it, pre heat your oven to 350°F. 

-cover the top of the pan with aluminum foil, and stick it in the oven. 

-bake for 45 minutes. 

-remove the foil, and bake 15-20 more until the top looks good, caramelized brown. 

-you can test it using an instant read thermometer if you like, and it’s done when the middle is 160°. Or just trust me. It will be. 


Some Note: 

You can’t really overbake the thing because the meat used has already been cooked before you ground it up. All you’re really doing is cooking it long enough to gelatinize the panada and eggs mixture. That stuff actually cooks up in about 40 minutes, but you’re also wanting to develop some caramelization of the outside of the loaf, and if you bothered to line the pan with bacon or fatback, then you want to fully cook that stuff. 1 hour is plenty o time. 


Remember that cooking  is a “process phenomena”, and among other process-affecting elements are material density, thermal conductivity, heat and moisture transport within the structure, and the basic control elements are always a balance of time and temperature. You could, for example, increase the oven temp to 375°, and decrease total baking time. 


Baking is science, but it is also meditation. 


Hot dogs are better on buns, with beer. This was just a "let's see what happens if" kind of event. 



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